01.01.12

Everyone is writing their 2011 review and 2012 resolution post.  I too wanted to write mine.  But didn't get time and opportunity to write on it.  Honestly speaking, I had nothing to write in an elaborate manner.  Last year had been quite a hectic one.  When I look back, all I can recall are changes, new experiences and learning.  It had been a huge learning phase for me.  Learning from different dimensions, learning stuff about myself that I had no clue before, learning to survive certain circumstances and a lot more. 

I wanted to write a review based on the 66 posts that I've written this year.  This is also going to lead towards 2012 resolutions.  So, let's do that briefly.

1. Goodbye to academic life: I have finished my academic life in Bangladesh on January, 2011.  This event itself opened the door of this broader and uncertain but challenging zone. 
2. Career in full swing: Started my professional career since February till now.  To sum up, it had been one hell of an experience.  In terms of learning, I've had practical encounter with professionalism, bitching, distinguishing "the right work", the dissatisfaction with the present achievements aka "ambition to achieve more".
3. Self exploration: About one third of the year (since September till now), I've lived a friend-less life.  And it has been one of the most enlightening thing for me.  Sometimes to figure out your true self, you need this "all by yourself" phases, when you can think clearly and nurture who you really are.  I'm lucky that I've had such a phase. 
4. Roller-coaster on relationships: Relationships had played quite an ups and downs game this year.  Or the other way round.  The year started with a view, "relationships are more important than running after how you want your life to be".   A wider range of time had been spent believing "relationships and your views on how to run your life can go in a parallel manner, if you make some adjustments".  The year ended with the thought, "don't indulge in relationships, as they should never take over your concrete decisions, adjustments are bullshits if nobody acknowledges them".  
5. It's okay to feel in certain ways:  But, within a limit.  This would also be a part of self-exploration.  It had been quite an interesting experience of keeping my thoughts/emotions loyal to myself and to my relationships around.  I can now label myself who gives a lot of emphasis on emotions experienced and a follower of "no regrets" rule.  Every emotion is celestial, it should be nurtured and cherished.
6. Me and myself:  This is a realization I had at the very end of this year.  At the beginning of 2011, I used to think the only people who are ever going to be your ultimate well-wisher for all time are your parents.  I just realized lately that the only person who is ever going to be your ultimate well-wisher for all time is YOU.  You are all alone at some crucial point of your life.  If you don't take hold of it and let others (parents, mentors, boyfriend) take decision, you'll lose yourself. 
7. Learning for 2012:  The only thing you can call your own is your achievements; not relationships, not your parents, not your boyfriend, not even your kids.  No one can arrange achievements for you.  The only thing that you'll be remembered for is YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS.  So I'll be working for that, just like I have been working for it for the past 25 years 9 months and 6 days.  I want to nurture and develop my research career through 2012. 

Back to 2012: 

A lot has happened today.  I don't know if it's an eye opener for me, is that a good sign or bad sign, but I had quite a dose today.  Self realization has been promoted to one more category.  Sometimes we are so engrossed in our current atmosphere that we are not mentally prepared for something completely unthinkable.  Obviously, if something is unthinkable, we are not supposed to be prepared for those.  You never know when reality strikes and you've to fight back with whatever weapon you have.