You know those moments, when you feel indifferent, there's no specific thought going on inside your head to make you ponder over something, and your head is subconsciously searching for some state of mind to assign some feeling to it, which feeling would you like to get assigned to, to occupy your current thoughts?
My personal favourite would be sadness. I want to get a dose of sadness. In addition a bit of a loneliness attack would be classy! Like right at this moment [see, talking of sadness, I already got the idea to write something on it! ;)]. I want to have a sense of something I couldn't have or can't have.
And the sadness would be appreciated if it's a split screen sadness. You know, someone would be sad on the other side thinking about you, in a concurrent manner. You know, how they show it in the movies, the same screen, but split into two, to show what two different people are thinking at the same time without knowing about each other... something like that. Then I could've sang, "We share the sadness, split screen sadness". How would it be to share immaturity, split screen immaturity?
And the sadness would be appreciated if it's a split screen sadness. You know, someone would be sad on the other side thinking about you, in a concurrent manner. You know, how they show it in the movies, the same screen, but split into two, to show what two different people are thinking at the same time without knowing about each other... something like that. Then I could've sang, "We share the sadness, split screen sadness". How would it be to share immaturity, split screen immaturity?
For the audience it's entertaining because they know both part of the story. But you can't get both sides of the coin. You can't be on both sides of the grass at the same time to compare the green-ness of it. It's just not possible. It's like a counterfactual. And it's sad. Speaking of sad,
Could you get what I've been trying to do? I'm letting my mind to wander to pick up a thought to go to bed with. I want to sleep with that thought and yet remain virgin! Okay, bad joke!
Have you ever been obsessed over some object, or some thought, or some character made up inside your head that you thought is real and get emotionally attached to it? I feel like I can't put my heart and soul on to something if I'm not obsessed about "it" or some proxy of that "something". I do it all the time. I'm an obsessed soul. Is that a symptom of a loner? I don't know. But I think it's cool. I always have someone with myself to talk to. And it's so freaking entertaining!
Have you ever been obsessed over some object, or some thought, or some character made up inside your head that you thought is real and get emotionally attached to it? I feel like I can't put my heart and soul on to something if I'm not obsessed about "it" or some proxy of that "something". I do it all the time. I'm an obsessed soul. Is that a symptom of a loner? I don't know. But I think it's cool. I always have someone with myself to talk to. And it's so freaking entertaining!
These days I've been afraid some pictures. In fact, not these days, ever since I got those, I'm afraid to look at them directly into the eyes. It's like a horror movie kind of feeling, you know those pictures that suddenly come alive and see you like you see it, or snatch your eyes? It's a feeling like that. I kind of get a horrifying feeling looking at them, as if it can watch me back, with the additional gift of reading my mind. And I so can't allow that. So I refrain myself to look at them. For clarification, the pictures are beautiful.
I can understand about the need for thoughts to go to bed with. But why fill it with sadness? Think of something wonderful about spending time with friends, some loved ones? Sometimes when I am feeling like this my sister tells me not to "sit there feeling deliciously sad"! About the split screen sadness- you like "Perspectives":)life is not a movie or a story..if at all you want to look at like that then it has an awesome director sitting up there...So forget the sadness and remember the happy times when you sleep. You will have sweet dreams!
ReplyDeleteThank you di. I appreciate.
DeletePain is easy to write. In pain, we're all drably individual. But what can one write about happiness?
Loved these lines from the movie The End of The Affair, on which I also wrote a post. And it's true for me. I can't write about happiness. The words just don't come out. I'm a sadness writer. For that I need to be sad. Sadness also makes us realize many things that we don't acknowledge in happiness.