Why so afraid of your negative side?

Have you ever noticed that it's so much fun living a life with complete honest thoughts?  Appreciating the beast inside you?  Everyone has that beast inside, but most of the people try to deny it most of the time.  I want to oppose two views that people often try to defy. 

1. Two person are talking.  A says something to B that hurts/upsets B.  Then A says that he/she was just joking.

I think it's a complete bullshit.  It was never meant to be a joke.  A subconsciously or unconsciously wanted to hurt/upset B.  But consciously he/she was unsure or didn't want to hurt/upset B, at least in a face to face conversation.  The this "joke" thing comes as the perfect rescuer at that moment.

A to B:  Oh, you're such a child.  You didn't get my joke?  I was only kidding!  Why are you overreacting and getting upset?

Fake.  But the problem is, A may not know himself/herself that his/her subconscious mind is making him/her to fake it.  Just a way to hide inside the mask.

The following one is a recent view I encountered with.

2. X and Y are talking.  Y is trying to be moody on some minor fault of X, but irrespective of doing something wrong X becomes extremely rude on Y saying so what if it's his/her fault. When Y asks why X is being so rude and that too illogically, then X replies that "rudeness/anger is a byproduct of illogicality".  So, Y asking X to give him/her a logical reason for being rude is baseless.

I simply can't agree on this hypothesis.  There must be a reason behind that rudeness.  I can't agree that a reaction came just like that without any action.  Something must be hidden and wrapped in the coat of subconsciousness of a mind.  It can be an old "pay back issue", it might be an act of hiding X's own guilty feelings of some kind.

I don't know if you agree with me or not.  Feel free to share your views.  I believe that every little gesture we make is yielded by a mixture of our subconscious or conscious thoughts.  We act sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously.  Just like the acts of a conscious mind, our subconscious byproducts are also our responsibility.  Why are we so afraid of taking that responsibility?  A bitter truth is a lot better than a fake honesty.