I'm exhausted. Feeling sleepy. Got to get the clothes ready to wear for office tomorrow. Fix the bed and then go to sleep. Then what am I doing here? Felt an urge to write. Just some life updates.
Listening to John Mayer's new single Shadow Days from his upcoming album Born and Raised. Waiting for the whole album to be released. This song was aired on the radio for the first time few days back.
Passing very busy time since the last week. Office work plus I've started to take driving lessons. I don't have time except for weekends and after office on weekdays. It's fun, though! I go to the driving school directly from office and it gets about 10 PM to reach home. I'm pretty impressed figuring out my energy level!
Lately I've been using my brain cells to figure out why some people hate me so much. I don't want people to love me. The indifference phase is okay, but hate? I surely give them reasons. I don't mind if people hate me. A fraction of it is a sign of improvement. I must be succeeding! But part of it is telling me that I need some change in attitude. May be I'll write a separate post on "Shomoita Haters Club" dissecting this issue.
Some things are better in thoughts than in reality. "Who do you love? Me or the thought of me?" Thought of you is comfort zone. Real "you" is... hard to explain.
I'm a short tempered person. I used to take pride in it. Lately I realized this is one of my biggest weaknesses. I can't let go of it. It's a genetic issue. But I can control how I react. When you are young, it's okay to react badly, it can be forgiven or accepted as a mistake. But when you're quite grown up, it's like a scar, and it affects life; which is not a good thing. So I've decided to learn to shut the f**k up!
What else? One last thing. While analyzing on the issues of "what's wrong with me and my attitude", I've generated a new hypothesis based on personal experiences and close observations. It goes something like this:
Some people have superiority complex and insecurity, battling within them side by side. These two are pretty opposite emotions. Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of a person when he/she is pulled in by these two extreme opposite sides? Okay, a separate blog post on this... later.
Good night!
yes..
ReplyDeletetemper is like a weapon..
than can be used positively sometimes..
but other times there is always damage at both ends..
so its better to not be affected.. especially in scenarios where you are bound to lose temper.. that what I try..
You know what? I've been dealing with too many insecure/cheap thinking/negative people these days, that it is really hard to control my temper or hard not to get involved in an argument. Although, I know, at the end of the day, people like that never understands unless they themselves face some learning experience.
Delete